I was trying to find what I wanted
but all I got was what you wanted.
I was trying to see what I wanted to see
but all I saw was what you wanted me too see.
I wanted to fly
But all I did was cling to your arms and cry
I wanted to talk to you
but all I did was get lost in what you said.
I wanted to feel confident
but all I did was belittle myself.
I wanted to open up to you
but all I did was build more walls.
I wanted to do so much
but all I did was do Nothing.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Lost in translation
Yes.I am lost in translation.The translation that took place between what I was and what I am now. Between what I wanted to be and what I didn't want to be.Between what I wanted to be but couldn't be.Between what I didn't want to be but I have to be. Confusing? Nevermind.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
"Amaar shonaar bangla...."couldn't think of any other title :)
Every time I watch Parineeta I feel very nostalgic. The movie reminds me of the good time I had in Kolkata this summer. Had been to Jamshedpur to my ex- roommates place along with other roomies of mine.Watched the movie there. So while was in J'pur we all decided to go to Kolkata for few days. It was fun..........the moment I stepped foot in the beautiful city I fell in love with its charm and liveliness.Do nothing........just walk down the lanes and you'll feel so elated and thrilled. The people, the culture, the evenings in Esplanade, the metro ride, the bus ride, the taxis, the local train from J'pur to Kolkata......just about everything brings joy to me. The people are so friendly and helpful.........Payal tripped and sprained her ankle while climbing down the stairs of Victoria.We had to take a bus to Rabindra Sarobar but unfortunately we got onto the wrong one. In the meanwhile Payal started howling with pain.The people on the bus got so concerned that they stopped the bus and got a taxi for us and stood there until we left the place.Dipika couldnot believe her eyes....she said "Why are these poeple so bothered about us.....why don't they mind their own buisness?" To this one aunty from the bus said ...."They are not meddlesome but just concerned and trying to help".That was highly embarrasing for us but also a reflection of how hospitable Kolkata is. The fervour with each festival is celebrated compares nothing.If someone wants to know how to enjoy life and have fun h/she should visit Kolkata. I completely concur with Dominique Lapierre...calcutta is indeed the city of joy. No exaggeration but a fact.One has to see it to believe it. The desire to conserve the tradiiton , the glorious past, historical connection, it was just overwhelming.
The funpart was we all decided to go to the local restaurants and try the typical bengali food..........and everyday we used to end up eating rice in one form or the other. Fried vegetables, aloo potol (dint know howelse to spell it inorder to emphasize on the bengali pronunciation) dal and rice. The typical food that we had at our rommies place.Women in cotton sarees, sindoor, shakha choodi and the men in printed bandhni kurtas, Howrah bridge,the ferry ride, park street, Subhash chandra bose's home, Vivekanand's room, the churches, the art exhibitions, the rasgollas, mishti doi, coffee outside the Rabindra Sarobar station, Maidan being pronounced as Moidan and the confusion following that, all culminated in making my trip to Kolkata a memorable one.But the heat and humidity was unbearable.It got the best of us. We never stopped sweating bullets except when every night we came back to the guest house and switched on the AC, which was divine.Although the heat was bothering us the desire to go out every morning and explore the city was uncontrollable.Sometimes I did nothing but just travelled up and down in the metro and observed the people around.I felt that those 4 days were not enough to know this enigmatic city.I plan to visit Kolkata again or even better, look for my summer interns there.Three months of work and pure, unadulterated fun. Not a bad idea at all.
The funpart was we all decided to go to the local restaurants and try the typical bengali food..........and everyday we used to end up eating rice in one form or the other. Fried vegetables, aloo potol (dint know howelse to spell it inorder to emphasize on the bengali pronunciation) dal and rice. The typical food that we had at our rommies place.Women in cotton sarees, sindoor, shakha choodi and the men in printed bandhni kurtas, Howrah bridge,the ferry ride, park street, Subhash chandra bose's home, Vivekanand's room, the churches, the art exhibitions, the rasgollas, mishti doi, coffee outside the Rabindra Sarobar station, Maidan being pronounced as Moidan and the confusion following that, all culminated in making my trip to Kolkata a memorable one.But the heat and humidity was unbearable.It got the best of us. We never stopped sweating bullets except when every night we came back to the guest house and switched on the AC, which was divine.Although the heat was bothering us the desire to go out every morning and explore the city was uncontrollable.Sometimes I did nothing but just travelled up and down in the metro and observed the people around.I felt that those 4 days were not enough to know this enigmatic city.I plan to visit Kolkata again or even better, look for my summer interns there.Three months of work and pure, unadulterated fun. Not a bad idea at all.
Stifled self
Its easy to cry,
but difficult to laugh
Its easy to betray,
but difficult to trust
Its easy to hate,
but difficult to love
Its easy to judge,
but difficult to justify
but difficult to laugh
Its easy to betray,
but difficult to trust
Its easy to hate,
but difficult to love
Its easy to judge,
but difficult to justify
Sunday, October 30, 2005
July to October- I: Shifting to the hostel
Here is the first part of the long post that I have been talking about for the past so many days.It talks about how things have been with me in the past three months in an MBA institute.In a new place with new people and new perceptions.So lets start with the day I shifted to the hostel....
I shifted to the hostel on the 14th of july, room no:404 ,"Devi vandana".The hostel is nothing but a set of apartments which the institute has taken on lease until the institute's own hostel gets constructed (which is most probably by next year).So, I reached the hostel by 3.30 p.m and came to know that there is a power cut and i'll have to carry my luggage all the way up to the fourth floor!!! That nearly killed me.So I finally started climbing up the stairs wondering what would it be like doing this everyday.....walking up and down the stairs when there is no electricity.Huffing and puffing I reached the fourth floor and stood in front of the door which read 404 engraved on a brass plate. I took a deep breath and did the customary Grih pravesh by putting my right foot in first ;D.So now that the Grih pravesh was done I walked past the 5 study tables kept in the living room meant for the 5 occupants of the flat.I went in and met my first flatmate Preeti, a south indian from mumbai and 5ft9in tall! God! I was envious of her height especially when mine is 4ft 10 in :( Said hi to her and her family and then moved into my room to see how it looked.Hmmm.......not bad was the first impression.New mattress, new bed, a balcony overlooking green mountains.....quite a good view. I was happy with the room.As long as my room has a balcony m a happy soul.While I was dreaming of the endless nights to be spent sipping coffee in the balcony I hear my mum say...."Rinky(that's my nickname) don't u want to get ur other stuff up?" Oh how I hated that. I came out of the room and told preeti that I'll be back, m going down to get the rest of my luggage.After that herculean task was done I quickly unpacked and arranged my stuff in the cupboard.When that was done I left for the institute to notify the office that I have arrived and to also get some documents verified.Met another classmate of mine there, Priyanka from Delhi and that is how I kept on coming across my batchmates one by one.After I was through with all the formalities I bade goodbye to my mom and went back to the hostel and lied down for some time. In the meanwhile another of my flatmate arrived(who is also my roomate) with her Bhabhi. She was Shweta Jain from Patna. Said hi to her too and offered her some help with her luggage which she politely refused and said "its ok I'll manage". I said "ok, as you wish but if u need anything m here u can call me anytime" and I went back to my freshly made bed :D
It was 8.30 when all the girls from the other flats started coming out to go for dinner.Our meals are served in the institute canteen and we have a shuttle service from the hostel to the institute every half hour. So we all gathered in the parking lot of the building chatting and getting to know each other. The first few days were really bad cuz we were having a tough time remembering each others names.We could recognize each others faces but could not recollect the names. Anyway so we reached the institute and started to look for some more familiar faces among the guys whom we met in the evening at the institute office. That day it was thursday so the canteen served Chineese.The food was not bad but it was surely difficult to eat those noodles with a spoon.They did not provide us with a fork.While we were having the food there comes a senior in a white kurta and blue jeans.Introduces himself as Saurabh from Indore and asks us to introduce ourselves.After the intro session was done he finally departed saying "Be prepared".Everybody was talking about what's going to happen.By 9.30 we all came back to the hostel and sat dowm for a chat in Snigdha's room.By 10.30 we all dispersed to our rooms and started to get ready for sleep. The next day was our induction.We had to reach the institute by 8 a.m.So finally by 11 we all retired to bed but I couldn't sleep cuz it was a new place so....I went into the balcony and sat there for an hour or so. Eventually by 12 I slept feeling thrilled anticipating how things were going to be the next day.
I shifted to the hostel on the 14th of july, room no:404 ,"Devi vandana".The hostel is nothing but a set of apartments which the institute has taken on lease until the institute's own hostel gets constructed (which is most probably by next year).So, I reached the hostel by 3.30 p.m and came to know that there is a power cut and i'll have to carry my luggage all the way up to the fourth floor!!! That nearly killed me.So I finally started climbing up the stairs wondering what would it be like doing this everyday.....walking up and down the stairs when there is no electricity.Huffing and puffing I reached the fourth floor and stood in front of the door which read 404 engraved on a brass plate. I took a deep breath and did the customary Grih pravesh by putting my right foot in first ;D.So now that the Grih pravesh was done I walked past the 5 study tables kept in the living room meant for the 5 occupants of the flat.I went in and met my first flatmate Preeti, a south indian from mumbai and 5ft9in tall! God! I was envious of her height especially when mine is 4ft 10 in :( Said hi to her and her family and then moved into my room to see how it looked.Hmmm.......not bad was the first impression.New mattress, new bed, a balcony overlooking green mountains.....quite a good view. I was happy with the room.As long as my room has a balcony m a happy soul.While I was dreaming of the endless nights to be spent sipping coffee in the balcony I hear my mum say...."Rinky(that's my nickname) don't u want to get ur other stuff up?" Oh how I hated that. I came out of the room and told preeti that I'll be back, m going down to get the rest of my luggage.After that herculean task was done I quickly unpacked and arranged my stuff in the cupboard.When that was done I left for the institute to notify the office that I have arrived and to also get some documents verified.Met another classmate of mine there, Priyanka from Delhi and that is how I kept on coming across my batchmates one by one.After I was through with all the formalities I bade goodbye to my mom and went back to the hostel and lied down for some time. In the meanwhile another of my flatmate arrived(who is also my roomate) with her Bhabhi. She was Shweta Jain from Patna. Said hi to her too and offered her some help with her luggage which she politely refused and said "its ok I'll manage". I said "ok, as you wish but if u need anything m here u can call me anytime" and I went back to my freshly made bed :D
It was 8.30 when all the girls from the other flats started coming out to go for dinner.Our meals are served in the institute canteen and we have a shuttle service from the hostel to the institute every half hour. So we all gathered in the parking lot of the building chatting and getting to know each other. The first few days were really bad cuz we were having a tough time remembering each others names.We could recognize each others faces but could not recollect the names. Anyway so we reached the institute and started to look for some more familiar faces among the guys whom we met in the evening at the institute office. That day it was thursday so the canteen served Chineese.The food was not bad but it was surely difficult to eat those noodles with a spoon.They did not provide us with a fork.While we were having the food there comes a senior in a white kurta and blue jeans.Introduces himself as Saurabh from Indore and asks us to introduce ourselves.After the intro session was done he finally departed saying "Be prepared".Everybody was talking about what's going to happen.By 9.30 we all came back to the hostel and sat dowm for a chat in Snigdha's room.By 10.30 we all dispersed to our rooms and started to get ready for sleep. The next day was our induction.We had to reach the institute by 8 a.m.So finally by 11 we all retired to bed but I couldn't sleep cuz it was a new place so....I went into the balcony and sat there for an hour or so. Eventually by 12 I slept feeling thrilled anticipating how things were going to be the next day.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
So much.... so little.....
Sometimes there is so much to say.
But so little to speak.
Sometimes there is so much to hear.
But so little to listen.
But so little to speak.
Sometimes there is so much to hear.
But so little to listen.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP'S DAY
I saw Shall we dance y'day.After a long time I watched any movie.We came to know y'day that the pre lunch lecture today(7th Aug)has got cancelled and the next lecture is at 3.30, so y'day night called for a celebration.And we did that by watching a movie!!! :D Finally my laptop was put to the right use from the time I got it last month.Feels good to see a movie stored in one of the drives. Happiness just a click away :D Though m not a movie buff but a movie is any time better than boring topics like ERP,Operations management,and Prof Sople's core marketing!(these topics are not boring but they seem so cuz of the profs) :D
Anyway, as its friendship's day today, at 12 in the night y'day the whole hostel was charged up suddenly with cell phones ringing, girls screaming Happy friendship's day, and lift door opening Bam! closing Boom!.For a second I thought is it Diwali or India beat Pakistan or X had a break off with Y [names withheld for security reasons ;)]?I received calls from my old college roommates,SMSd some as my cell balance was extremely low and dad has already warned me of my phone bills :( Ran up all the floors to find if I missed blurting out the golden words or hugging anyone.Doesn't matter if I hate anyone or what....its Friendship's day! Peace for all ;)
A begining of few new friendly relations.Lets see how many are friendly indeed in the long run or when it comes to doing group assignments :D(hey no offense to anyone.m pretty sure many of my batchmates are going to read this post.)
Have a great day all of you and cherish your friends.True friends are indeed difficult to find.
Happy Friendship's Day
Anyway, as its friendship's day today, at 12 in the night y'day the whole hostel was charged up suddenly with cell phones ringing, girls screaming Happy friendship's day, and lift door opening Bam! closing Boom!.For a second I thought is it Diwali or India beat Pakistan or X had a break off with Y [names withheld for security reasons ;)]?I received calls from my old college roommates,SMSd some as my cell balance was extremely low and dad has already warned me of my phone bills :( Ran up all the floors to find if I missed blurting out the golden words or hugging anyone.Doesn't matter if I hate anyone or what....its Friendship's day! Peace for all ;)
A begining of few new friendly relations.Lets see how many are friendly indeed in the long run or when it comes to doing group assignments :D(hey no offense to anyone.m pretty sure many of my batchmates are going to read this post.)
Have a great day all of you and cherish your friends.True friends are indeed difficult to find.
Happy Friendship's Day
Monday, May 30, 2005
Woh lamhe
One of the worst possible thing that could have happened to me has happened.I have lost one of the albums of my hostel photographs :( Oh boy, I can barely get those snaps out of my sight and it makes me more sad :((.I have turned every single object in my house upside down.But all invain.No luck up untill now.And to top it all I have even misplaced the negatives.Oh no! Why this had to happen to me?Not those photographs atleast!I spent the whole evening Y'day hunting for them.But couldn't trace them.It had snaps of me and moksha doing a silly DDLJ act :D( u know the one where Shahrukh pulls Kajol into the train while they were about to leave for their Europe trip).I was Kajol *gives a silly grin* and moko was Shahrukh.It had moments that moko and I spent (doing the silliest of things possible) before she was to go back home for good after finishing her course.We advertised for the disposable coffee cups that we drank coffee in and refused to throw,it had the pics of our latenight bike ride to Aundh especially when the bike refused to start and we had to walk down to the gas station. Then it also had the pics of our overnight trip to lonavla, snaps of Sheetal,Megha and me at the christmas bash at Le Meridian.Ahhhh! It was so much fun! And here I am, I have lost them! I am awaiting a miracle to happen, to get the pics of those fun moments back :(
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Progression
When a kid....
Adult#1:So, what do u want to be when u grow up?
Me: I want to be a Dancer.
When 6 yrs old.....
Adult#2:What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me:I want to be a Painter.
When 10 yrs old.....
Adult#3:What do u want to be when u grow up?
Me: I want to be a Teacher.
When 14 yrs old......
Adult#4:What do u want to be when you grow up?
Me: I want to be a Hotelier.
When 17 yrs old......
Adult#5: What do u want to be when you grow up?
Me: I want to be a Manager.
When 21 yrs old.......
Adult#6:What do you want to be in life?
Me: I don't know.Is my life mine anymore?
Adult#1:So, what do u want to be when u grow up?
Me: I want to be a Dancer.
When 6 yrs old.....
Adult#2:What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me:I want to be a Painter.
When 10 yrs old.....
Adult#3:What do u want to be when u grow up?
Me: I want to be a Teacher.
When 14 yrs old......
Adult#4:What do u want to be when you grow up?
Me: I want to be a Hotelier.
When 17 yrs old......
Adult#5: What do u want to be when you grow up?
Me: I want to be a Manager.
When 21 yrs old.......
Adult#6:What do you want to be in life?
Me: I don't know.Is my life mine anymore?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
What I like about Akanksha
'
This is a poem written by few Akanksha kids for the Annual Day held recenlty.
What I like about Akanksha
I like the bus that gets me to Akanksha
I like the t-shirts I always have to wear
But the thing I like the best, the very very best
Is to know that you love me.
I like the didis and bhaiyas who never beat me
Even when they are angry at me
But the thing I like the best, the very very best
Is to know that you love me.
I like to learn lot of songs and poems
It makes me proud when I can speak in English
But the thing I like the best, the very very best
Is to know that you love me.
I like the pretty colours at the art class
I like the way we make alot of mess
But the thing I like the best, the very very best
Is to know that you love me.
I love you, you love me
We are a happy family
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too.
As the events were unfolding at the Annual Day function held recently, not only did it fill every person associated with Akanskha with pride but also with hope.Hope to indeed make a difference in lives of those who are capable of claiming the world but couldn't in the absence of resources.The graduating class of 2005 had students who epitomize the true spirit of Akanksha of dreaming and making it big.The results of the hardwork and effort put in by every member takes shape in the form of their success.Some of the kids can put even the privilged kids to shame with their dedication, abilities and desire to learn.The generous little curve on their lips told a story in itself of struggle, pain, optimism, strength and courage.The glitter in their eyes reflected their aspirations for a better future.Their shy persona revealed the fire they conceal in them to conquer every battle .Their confidence thwarted the evils of penury.Their unconditional fervour for life gave a new lease of life and persistence to many.It has been a life changing experience to interact with so many enlightened souls, so many lives, lives who are a lesson to learn in itself.
Here are few lines that the kids tried to teach us with the help of a song.
"There are two little words Why not
Two little words that change so much
Each one of us can lead wondrous lives
If each day we ask Why not"
Akanskha talks about you and me.
"You are here for the children,
But,
You are here for you too
Find your true colours.
Learn.Grow"
These few words are a perfect embodiment of the experiences I have had at Akanksha.I have learnt.I have grown.
But there still remains alot more to be done to help those who are in need and have a right to dream too.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Its a Closet.
Its a closet.
Every shelf has a purpose.
Every shelf has the space.
Every shelf has the clutter.
Every shelf has the dust.
Every shelf has a masterpiece.
Its a closet.
The closet has a door.
The door has a knob.
The knob has the rust.
The rust keeps away the hands.
The hands that would open the door to the world outside.
The hands that would open the world outside,
to the world inside.
The closet is my BRAIN.
The closet is my MIND.
Every shelf has a purpose.
Every shelf has the space.
Every shelf has the clutter.
Every shelf has the dust.
Every shelf has a masterpiece.
Its a closet.
The closet has a door.
The door has a knob.
The knob has the rust.
The rust keeps away the hands.
The hands that would open the door to the world outside.
The hands that would open the world outside,
to the world inside.
The closet is my BRAIN.
The closet is my MIND.
Monday, April 25, 2005
You and Me
How about you and me never talk about it
How about you and me make up for what we lost
How about you and me never look back
How about you and me walk together
How about you and me run together
How about you and me smile together
How about you and me play together
How about you and me dream together
How about you and me stay together
My dear Conscience,
How about you and me stay together
Stay together F.O.R.E.V.E.R.
How about you and me make up for what we lost
How about you and me never look back
How about you and me walk together
How about you and me run together
How about you and me smile together
How about you and me play together
How about you and me dream together
How about you and me stay together
My dear Conscience,
How about you and me stay together
Stay together F.O.R.E.V.E.R.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Words in my Life
Me. They. Hair. Play. Kids. Responsibility. Ability. Desire. Faith. God. Enough. Quiet. Pain. Strength. Colours. Sense. Logic. Mc Donalds. Food Factory. Rave. Music. Good. Bad. Right. Wrong. Cure. Party. Viruses. Computer. Mistakes. Dominance. Anger. Reflection. Realisation. Enlightened. Too. Out. Much. Stare. Tears. Hatred. Close. Open. Blogger. Spam mail. Experience. Station. Pass.( ........ ). People. Charity. Personality. Struggle. Time. Book. Magazine. Hackneyed. Feel. Newspaper. Futile. Drop. HR. (.....).Timid. Gate. Competition. Yahoo. MSN. Shy. Night. Logic. Defend. Family. Discussion. Expect. Idea. Aware. Repercussion. Economy. Disdain. Control. Give. Lack.Trust. Respect. Love. Doodle. Fido Dido. Interconnection. Exam. Surprise. Everyone. Usual. Empathy. Question. First. Answer. Justify. Be. Look. Enjoy. Easy. Shapes. Creativity. Deny. Reject. Ok. Relationship. Best. Friend. Attitude. Change. Date. Scared. Lesson. Concealed. Blame. Words. Current Affairs. Rock. Sudden. Success. Wait. Understand. Regret. Amazed. Lot. Boy. Teach. Stay. Divert. Dissapointment. Same. Yourself. Wish. Silence. Accept. Codes. Cannot. Again. Stop. Use. Place. Want. Do not. Others. Improve. Source. When. Never. Talk. Problem. Psyche. Thanks. Equal. Choice. Early. Introvert. Laughter.
Confusion + Puzzled
Confuzzled
Confusion + Puzzled
Confuzzled
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
"M" says what?
Today the kids learnt a new alphabet M. They are taught with refrences to the phonetics they know.....so they were taught as....M says 'muh' as said in hindi.
They were asked to mention words starting with M.
Prompt came the reply.........
M says Mobile.
M says Money.
Changing times!
They were asked to mention words starting with M.
Prompt came the reply.........
M says Mobile.
M says Money.
Changing times!
Saturday, February 26, 2005
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
I work as volunteer for an NGO aiming at educating underprivilged children.Since the day I had joined, being a newbie I had serious trouble controlling a class of 20-25 kids aged between 5-6 yrs.Most of the time I found myself running after the kids just trying to make them sit in one place and listen to me.If somehow I managed to make Sujata sit quietly in one place Deeva would start hitting Kavita.Mohiddin will be busy disturbing other kids and Deepak will be enjoying throwing away the stationery.The first few days I actually came back feeling like a loser...not able to make the kids do something as basic as listening to me forget about teaching!
I remember being a very naughty and talkative girl in the class when I was in school.I wonder how the teachers managed me?
More than that I pity my mum who has been so patient with me and managed me so efficiently! After I came back from the class everyday I would ask my mother."Mom please tell me how do I mange these little monsters!They just would not listen to me."There have been instances where I have been literally running after the kids in the class struggling to gain control over them.Some start throwing stationery at each other, some start hitting each other or worst of all run out of the class!Which means I am running a marathon in the whole school! Some of the kids are so intelligent and listen to you and some just get on your nerves.This one time I had to make the children sit in a circle and was supposed to teach them addition and substraction with the use of coloured blocks.For the first time miraculously I could manage to make them sit in a circle which by all means resembled a circle compared to the previous formations in my initial days as a teacher!I was so proud of myself for achieving this feat, but, my happiness was shortlived.Immediately as they sat in the circle everyone pounced on me for the blocks.I felt like a helpless rabbit being attacked by ferocious baby faced assasins. Overwhelmed by the out of control situation I felt a sudden wave of energy running through my veins and just like Shah rukh Khan did it in the climax of DDLJ ,I woke up with a scream and said with a tone of authority and frustration "Will you all stop it! What is happening here?!Don't you understand what I am saying to you all?!Everybody sit down quietly in your places or I will take away evrybody's t-shirts(these are T-shirts provided as uniforms by the NGO to the kids which they wear over their normal clothes).Three of the kids were still making noise and I said to them "You three are bad students you don't listen to didi.All the other kids are good students,they are sitting quietly". To this Mohiddin said "Haan yeh teen gandhiji ke bandar or yeh(pointing towards me) beech me gandhiji". I was shocked to hear the comment and burst out laughing. All the kids started to laugh too again making the whole place resemble a fish market.(There can be tremendous amount of noise pollution in a class of kids aged 5-7yrs).Mohiddin is just 5yrs old but the instant comment surprised me so much that I forgot the whole class has gone completely out of control. I started to curse myself for being such a fool and not being able to control the class. I am still working on my skills of handling kids....hopefully I am able to manage the kids atleast for sometime when I go back to my class on Monday :(.
I remember being a very naughty and talkative girl in the class when I was in school.I wonder how the teachers managed me?
More than that I pity my mum who has been so patient with me and managed me so efficiently! After I came back from the class everyday I would ask my mother."Mom please tell me how do I mange these little monsters!They just would not listen to me."There have been instances where I have been literally running after the kids in the class struggling to gain control over them.Some start throwing stationery at each other, some start hitting each other or worst of all run out of the class!Which means I am running a marathon in the whole school! Some of the kids are so intelligent and listen to you and some just get on your nerves.This one time I had to make the children sit in a circle and was supposed to teach them addition and substraction with the use of coloured blocks.For the first time miraculously I could manage to make them sit in a circle which by all means resembled a circle compared to the previous formations in my initial days as a teacher!I was so proud of myself for achieving this feat, but, my happiness was shortlived.Immediately as they sat in the circle everyone pounced on me for the blocks.I felt like a helpless rabbit being attacked by ferocious baby faced assasins. Overwhelmed by the out of control situation I felt a sudden wave of energy running through my veins and just like Shah rukh Khan did it in the climax of DDLJ ,I woke up with a scream and said with a tone of authority and frustration "Will you all stop it! What is happening here?!Don't you understand what I am saying to you all?!Everybody sit down quietly in your places or I will take away evrybody's t-shirts(these are T-shirts provided as uniforms by the NGO to the kids which they wear over their normal clothes).Three of the kids were still making noise and I said to them "You three are bad students you don't listen to didi.All the other kids are good students,they are sitting quietly". To this Mohiddin said "Haan yeh teen gandhiji ke bandar or yeh(pointing towards me) beech me gandhiji". I was shocked to hear the comment and burst out laughing. All the kids started to laugh too again making the whole place resemble a fish market.(There can be tremendous amount of noise pollution in a class of kids aged 5-7yrs).Mohiddin is just 5yrs old but the instant comment surprised me so much that I forgot the whole class has gone completely out of control. I started to curse myself for being such a fool and not being able to control the class. I am still working on my skills of handling kids....hopefully I am able to manage the kids atleast for sometime when I go back to my class on Monday :(.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
I am standing on the door
Waiting for it to explode
I am walking on the road
Waiting for it to scream
“Leave me alone”
I am dreaming everyday
Waiting for the bubble to burst
I am listening to a song
Waiting for it to strum my nerves
I am cleansing my face
Waiting for the facade to get washed away
I am listening to you
Waiting for the pain to get snatched away
I am talking to you
Waiting for you to lash out at me
I am reading a book
Waiting for the words to trick me
I am looking into your eyes
Waiting to witness the repentant gaze
I am playing everyday
Waiting to find the way out of this maze
I have scores of questions
Waiting to find the answers
I travel everyday
Waiting to find the destination
I am standing on the shore
Waiting to grip the flow
My sanity is on the door
Waiting ...to explode
Waiting for it to explode
I am walking on the road
Waiting for it to scream
“Leave me alone”
I am dreaming everyday
Waiting for the bubble to burst
I am listening to a song
Waiting for it to strum my nerves
I am cleansing my face
Waiting for the facade to get washed away
I am listening to you
Waiting for the pain to get snatched away
I am talking to you
Waiting for you to lash out at me
I am reading a book
Waiting for the words to trick me
I am looking into your eyes
Waiting to witness the repentant gaze
I am playing everyday
Waiting to find the way out of this maze
I have scores of questions
Waiting to find the answers
I travel everyday
Waiting to find the destination
I am standing on the shore
Waiting to grip the flow
My sanity is on the door
Waiting ...to explode
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Yippie!!!!!
Me in Pune :)
Having fun with college friends........living college days once again.
Went to the Strings concert on sunday.....WOW!!!!!!Amazing!!!
Fell in love with Bilal......fantastic!!!
Having loads of fun.
Mood:Excited
Song on my mind:'Duurr....'
Having fun with college friends........living college days once again.
Went to the Strings concert on sunday.....WOW!!!!!!Amazing!!!
Fell in love with Bilal......fantastic!!!
Having loads of fun.
Mood:Excited
Song on my mind:'Duurr....'
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
"He's just not that into you"
I read this article in the ToI about this book that was a rage in the US.The book was "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt. The book was instrumental in cracking the codes that guys used to camouflage the truth about their relationships.It became so popular that the essence of it was adapted into the series 'Sex and the City'. Also, Oprah Winfrey decided to give the book a coverage on her show.Though I missed the 'Sex and the City' episode I got to watch the Oprah Winfrey show.And it was quite an eyeopener for the women who had found themselves in situations which screamed aloud about their guys that "He's just not that into into you", but they(women) just did not want to accept it or didn't understand the implied reasoning behind the excuses made by the guys.
Some of the common codes used to say the implied were:
- He just makes too many excuses.
- Says, "I am busy".
- Says, "Right now I have too many priorities to take care of".(on being questioned when are we getting married?)
- Will send text messages to say 'I miss you' or display affection after a prolonged gap of not being in contact after
a wonderful date.
- Says will call but doesn't.
- Asks you about your weekend plans and on knowing them replies with a cold 'Cool'.
- Says, "I am not ready".
- Says, "I don't want to ruin our friendship".
- Says, "I love you but I am not in love with you".
These easy to say, often heared words have some complex threads of truth to unravel.The following is how the codes are deciphered to give a clear picture of the truth in their respective orders:
- This simply, plainly, easily means that he just doesn't want to be with YOU.
- This means he is probably busy with other women, watching a game of baseball or any other god damn thing
under the sun but be with YOU.(He's just not that into you)
- The third says that you don't count as an vital part of my life and you are simply not my priority.
- The fourth and fifth mean that he is not even interested in hearing your voice.(How harsh is that!)
- The sixth means that my weekends are better off without you!
- I am not ready can mean many things:
~I am ready for sex but not for dating.
~I am not ready to give up the other two women in my life for you.
~Or, a plain 'You are not the girl'.
- The eighth means a rude 'You are not desirable'.Behrendt said that in the history of the usage of this excuse it has never been used for the right reasons.
- In the "I love you but I am not in love with you", the first i love you means I don't want to hurt your feelings and
the second evidently means that I am not in love with you.
The most bizzare excuse given by a guy to his girlfriend for not being in contact for long after he accidently bumped into her in a pub was "I dropped my phone into the toilet and lost all the numbers.I was so upset that I lost all the numbers"!!! The guy said on the show "I dont know where did this excuse come up from, but she actually believed it as I was very elaborate when I was explaining".So the next time if anybody's boyfriend said i dropped my phone into the toilet don't believe him.But, what are the chances of anyone saying anything weird and hopeless like this?!?!?! Probably many....one may never know!
Oprah's boyfriend stood her up and said "The problem is babydoll that you think you are special"Oprah reacted with a pinch of scorn, saying on the show "Where is he now, and where am I"!
There is this one guy who has different tiers of girlfriends for different days of the weeks. And their numbers are stored in his phone as:
~The Dream Team (girls he really wants to be with)
~The associates (girls he wouldn't mind talking to)
~Unfiled (girls he has got no business with after a while and doesn't care to even pick up their call)
Must say quite an organised guy!!!
For his weekends he has girls named as the 'Booty Call' whom he calls when he is drunk and going home after the party.
Mentioned him here as he says and so does the book that, if the guy really loves a woman he will make sure in every possible way to let her know and to show her that he loves her and treasures her.The guys validate their stand by saying that the truth is hard for them to say because they don't want to hurt the girl's feelings.They want to avoid the tears.
The best way out suggested for girls was to move on. When they know what they want, but don't get what they want, they should move on.They should raise the bar for themselves and move on and not lose out on the opportunity of meeting other good guys by sulking in the old realtionship. They should stop rationalising the guy's excuses.Realise the fact that they deserve honesty and good people in their life.A girl should not go out with a guy who does not ask her out first,keeps her waiting by the phone,always drinks or does drugs in front of her to the extent of making her uncomfortable,who has already rejected her,doesn't want to talk about their future together and is not a good,kind,loving, caring person.
Whatever be the codes......the answer is, "He's just not that into you"!!!
Some of the common codes used to say the implied were:
- He just makes too many excuses.
- Says, "I am busy".
- Says, "Right now I have too many priorities to take care of".(on being questioned when are we getting married?)
- Will send text messages to say 'I miss you' or display affection after a prolonged gap of not being in contact after
a wonderful date.
- Says will call but doesn't.
- Asks you about your weekend plans and on knowing them replies with a cold 'Cool'.
- Says, "I am not ready".
- Says, "I don't want to ruin our friendship".
- Says, "I love you but I am not in love with you".
These easy to say, often heared words have some complex threads of truth to unravel.The following is how the codes are deciphered to give a clear picture of the truth in their respective orders:
- This simply, plainly, easily means that he just doesn't want to be with YOU.
- This means he is probably busy with other women, watching a game of baseball or any other god damn thing
under the sun but be with YOU.(He's just not that into you)
- The third says that you don't count as an vital part of my life and you are simply not my priority.
- The fourth and fifth mean that he is not even interested in hearing your voice.(How harsh is that!)
- The sixth means that my weekends are better off without you!
- I am not ready can mean many things:
~I am ready for sex but not for dating.
~I am not ready to give up the other two women in my life for you.
~Or, a plain 'You are not the girl'.
- The eighth means a rude 'You are not desirable'.Behrendt said that in the history of the usage of this excuse it has never been used for the right reasons.
- In the "I love you but I am not in love with you", the first i love you means I don't want to hurt your feelings and
the second evidently means that I am not in love with you.
The most bizzare excuse given by a guy to his girlfriend for not being in contact for long after he accidently bumped into her in a pub was "I dropped my phone into the toilet and lost all the numbers.I was so upset that I lost all the numbers"!!! The guy said on the show "I dont know where did this excuse come up from, but she actually believed it as I was very elaborate when I was explaining".So the next time if anybody's boyfriend said i dropped my phone into the toilet don't believe him.But, what are the chances of anyone saying anything weird and hopeless like this?!?!?! Probably many....one may never know!
Oprah's boyfriend stood her up and said "The problem is babydoll that you think you are special"Oprah reacted with a pinch of scorn, saying on the show "Where is he now, and where am I"!
There is this one guy who has different tiers of girlfriends for different days of the weeks. And their numbers are stored in his phone as:
~The Dream Team (girls he really wants to be with)
~The associates (girls he wouldn't mind talking to)
~Unfiled (girls he has got no business with after a while and doesn't care to even pick up their call)
Must say quite an organised guy!!!
For his weekends he has girls named as the 'Booty Call' whom he calls when he is drunk and going home after the party.
Mentioned him here as he says and so does the book that, if the guy really loves a woman he will make sure in every possible way to let her know and to show her that he loves her and treasures her.The guys validate their stand by saying that the truth is hard for them to say because they don't want to hurt the girl's feelings.They want to avoid the tears.
The best way out suggested for girls was to move on. When they know what they want, but don't get what they want, they should move on.They should raise the bar for themselves and move on and not lose out on the opportunity of meeting other good guys by sulking in the old realtionship. They should stop rationalising the guy's excuses.Realise the fact that they deserve honesty and good people in their life.A girl should not go out with a guy who does not ask her out first,keeps her waiting by the phone,always drinks or does drugs in front of her to the extent of making her uncomfortable,who has already rejected her,doesn't want to talk about their future together and is not a good,kind,loving, caring person.
Whatever be the codes......the answer is, "He's just not that into you"!!!
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